"The Princess and the Pea"is a literary fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen about a young woman whose royal identity is established by a test of her physical sensitivity.
When I was a little girl, this story used to be one of my favorites. I lived in a fairytale world most of the time. It was where I found my escape and happiness. I could become anyone I wanted to be as I read the words of stories. I could become the main character who was loved, treasured, valued, wanted, taken care of. I loved to read. It opened up a world to me that let me live without the darkness that continually surrounded me.
I would study the pictures in the stories or paintings on walls. I would imagine myself in the setting of the scene displayed. It was like I Ski Dooed into the picture on the wall or in the book and I'd be the main character in the scene. Exactly the way Blue's Clues does.
Steve would jump right into the picture and begin to live in that setting. I did that way before Blue's Clues was ever a show. It was a coping mechanism I developed to stay in a happy place, in spite of.
I didn't have parental nurturing and love. My mom was a broken mess and could barely take care of herself. My father was absent...I would identify with most Princess storylines. The princess had a father who loved her, but he had died or she was kidnapped or whatever story plotline a princess story portrayed. This particular story about a princess who had been wandering outside...cold, alone, hungry, drenched outside in the midst of a storm...I so identified with her. She was invited into the prince's home but had to prove her worth, her value. Her identity hidden from her rescuers. They didn't believe she was really a princess.
It's amazing to me now as I look back how I just KNEW I was a princess. I was a warrior princess. Every battle I faced, every war that raged over my life, somehow, I made it through. I knew I had destiny...I knew someone loved me...I knew I had a place of belonging, but most of my life I was as this princess, searching, wandering, seeking shelter.
When the princess was invited into the prince's house, she had to prove her identity to the royal family. She was tested. They knew that if she was 'sensitive' to the touch of a tiny pea under a bunch of mattress and feathers, her royal identity would be established. Only a REAL princess would have the SENSITIVITY to feel the HARDNESS of the hidden pea. The princess had a sleepless night. The pea had bruised her.
As a little girl, I wanted to be offered a bed made of 20 mattresses and 20 feather-beds so I could be up high and safe from the predators in my life. I longed for a safe haven, a strong tower, a mighty fortress to sleep on. A place where no one could reach me or touch me. I felt the hardened hearts so full of evil as they victimized me. I knew I would pass the test. I knew that if a tiny pea was placed under my mattress, I would also have bruises on my body. My heart was so bruised. The pea would only verify the bruising my spiritual body braved each sleepless night I endured.
I used to get earaches all the time. My grandma was my only caretaker and worked two jobs. I laid in bed and cried and cried and cried...No one came. No one comforted. I finally cried myself to sleep. When my grandma was home and she would hear me crying she came and poured a bottle of warm oil into my ears and told me I'd feel better and leave. I'd still cry myself to sleep. As an adult, a doctor looked in my ears and said, "You have a lot of scarring around your ear drums, you must have had a lot of ear aches and fluid in your ears as a child." I thought, "YOU THINK!"
I'm on day 11 of this Daniel Fast. God is cleansing my heart of things I didn't even realize still had residue in there. This comforts me knowing my King, my Lord and Savior, always encouraged me and walked with me. Even though my family and their choices pretty much left me an Orphan Annie...'It's a hard-knock life' kinda girl, the King was always knocking at the door of my heart. He was always waiting for me to open it and say, please come in....He was always waiting for me to find shelter in his presence. Just like the princess in this story. It was in the storm she sought shelter with the royal family. Unfortunately, the storms of life let us begin looking at life a little differently. It is a hidden blessing when the hard-knock rains of life begin to flood us and drench us. We become a little more desperate. A little more open to the offer of entering into a safe place and being rescued.
Even now, the hardness of dried-up-hearts bruise me. I overflow with the goodness and mercy of God....I just want others to do the same. He's so faithful, loving, near and present in my life. What causes a hardened heart? Pride, arrogance, rebellion, obstinacy, stubbornness.
I am easy going and have learned to go with the flow...similar to the raft in this picture. The storms of life have taught me to go with the flow...The waves of life are unpredictable. You can't CONTROL every circumstance in your life. If God answers a prayer; Rejoice...If He doesn't answer it the way you think He should, Rejoice in the fact, HE IS STILL GOOD...HE IS STILL GOD!
But because you are stubborn and refuse to turn from your sin, you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself. For a day of anger is coming, when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed. Romans 2:5 (NLT)
Humility is the opposite of Pride and Arrogance. It's okay to be wrong. It's okay to be imperfect. It's okay not to know what the ending will be. It's okay to trust in a source higher than yourself. My King...My Lord...guides me, leads me, teaches me, disciplines me, and loves me. I am truly a princess. I am truly destined for royalty. I always knew it...even as a little girl...It's amazing how missing pieces to the puzzle fit into place and the picture gets more detailed and relevant to your life.
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